


Strawberries and Cigarettes

by namjoonspardon



Category: AB6IX (Band), CIX (Band), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Hopeful Ending, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, badboy!jinyoung, doctor!seongwu, don't k word me pls thanks, idk what to tag, student!daehwi, this took me like 3 months cause writers block, yes this is inspired by Troye Sivans song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namjoonspardon/pseuds/namjoonspardon
Summary: But I’ll never stop loving you. Even past the day I die.-The hope was almost lost, as he was scared he had almost lost his other half. His soulmate. But what happens if that might not exactly be true?
Relationships: Bae Jinyoung/Lee Daehwi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	Strawberries and Cigarettes

**_Remember when we first met?_ **

**_You said "light my cigarette"_ **

**_So I lied to my mom and dad_ **

**_I jumped the fence and I ran_ **

“Mom, I’m going to the convenience store. I’ll be back in a bit.” 

Closing the door gently, he walks down the stairs, down the block, reaching the designated spot.  _ A fence.  _ Grabbing the top of the rough wood, he pulls himself over, jumping over gracefully. He has done this numerous times; he wasn’t scared to do it anymore. 

Once landing, he begins to run.  _ Fast.  _ He could already see the stars beginning to dust the night sky ever so elegantly, and he was running out of time. 

Running out of time to see him tonight. 

So he kept going, so fast that he almost ran into a car, parked in front of the small abandoned convenience store. At least he didn’t  _ completely  _ lie to his mom about what he was doing. 

“Daehwi, you’re here.”

“You really thought I was going to miss out on seeing you, Jinyoung hyung?”

“On second thought, you’re right.” he says, before digging into his pocket to pull out a packet of cigarettes. 

“Light my cigarette for me?” 

Daehwi shakes his head, but compiles, taking the lighter out of the boy’s hand, and igniting a small flame. “You really need to stop smoking. It’s bad for you.”

“Mmm, nah.”

He rolls his eyes. “I still can’t believe we met only like two months ago.”

Jinyoung chuckles, “why this all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know just thinking.” 

Humming, the older puffs out a ring of dark smoke. “You think too much. Want to go for a drive?’

**_But we couldn't go very far_ **

**_'Cause you locked your keys in your car_ **

**_So you sat and stared at my lips_ **

**_And I could already feel your kiss_ **

Daehwi nods. He walks to the passenger side of the car, pulling the handle to open the door; only for it to be locked. Looking at Jinyoung, a silent  _ your car door isn’t open.  _ Jinyoung’s face twists, hands back into his pockets to find his keys. 

But they weren’t there. 

“Fuck. I left them in my car.”

Hearing that, Daehwi bursted into laughter, “how could you forget your own keys in your car, you idiot.” He expected a response from the older, but when he didn’t receive one, he looked at the older in confusion, only to be met with Jinyoung standing less than an inch away from him. The smaller’s back hits the car, and he could feel hands gripping his waist tightly, breath lacing over his face gracefully. The older was fixated not on Daehwi’s eyes, but on something else. 

_ Jinyoung was staring at his lips.  _

“Jinyoung hyung. What’s this?” Daehwi managed to breathe out. 

**_Long nights, daydreams_ **

**_Sugar and smoke rings, I've been a fool_ **

**_But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

“I wish I could show you how beautiful you look when you laugh. The way your eyes and nose scrunch up, and that bright smile that shines.”

Daehwi says nothing, feeling the older lean in. His eyes flutter shut as their lips touch softly, electrifying sparks riding up both the boys bodies. Arms wrapped around the taller’s neck, Daehwi happily sighs as Jinyoung leans in farther, making the younger boy’s back hit the hood of the car. 

The kiss tasted like the smoke Jinyoung had just inhaled, but reminisces of the strawberry scent he used took upon Daehwi’s body. It was a weird combination that was simply Jinyoung, and the younger one absolutely loved it. 

The older boy mouths at Daehwi’s neck, pulling gently on the soft skin with his teeth, making the smaller let out a pleased gasp. Jinyoung looks at him, so much  _ love  _ and  _ want _ in his eyes. 

This was going to be a long night. But Daehwi didn’t mind. 

_ Even if it risked him getting yelled at by his mom. _

-

**_Headlights, on me_ **

**_Racing to 60, I've been a fool_ **

**_But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like_ **

The headlights of other cars adorned Daehwi’s skin as he and Jinyoung blazed down the road. The older’s hand was gripping his thigh gently, the other latched onto the wheel. The younger looks out the window, watching them speed past stores and restaurants galore. 

“Hyung, can you drop me home? I have a class tomorrow.” 

“Only if you say the magic words.”

“Hyung please, don’t do this to me.”

“Aight, so no going home for you.” 

The younger groans, his face in his hands; eventually he relents “Jinyoung hyung is the most handsome man on this planet,” Daehwi says while he rolls his eyes. 

“Come on Daehwi! Say it like you mean it!”

“Hyung!”

Jinyoung lets out a laugh, quickly glancing at his lover in adoration. “Fine, fine. I’m taking you home now baby.” 

**_Blue eyes, black jeans_ **

**_Lighters and candy, I've been a fool_ **

**_But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

The older parked on Daehwi’s block, stopping the car, turning towards the younger with an unreadable expression. “Can we do this again soon?”

The younger smiles gently, looking as the light blue hue highlighted Jinyoung’s features. Before he could respond though, both boys heard a loud screech, and turned in panic to see another car losing control, moving their way.

“Jinyoung hyung, look out!” Daehwi yells, but is soon shushed as the older embraced him with a tight hold, before the car crashes into Jinyoung’s car. The last thing Daehwi heard was “I love you,” before everything went dark. 

-

The next time Daehwi wakes, he’s surrounded by plain white walls and chords are all over his body. He groans as he tries to sit up, before being gently shoved down by an unknown figure.

“Don’t move.” 

_ His mom.  _

“Mom?”

“Why didn’t you tell me Lee Daehwi? Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone? You know I would have supported you, so why did you think I didn’t deserve to know?”

Daehwi looks anywhere but his mother. This wasn’t how he wanted his mom to find out. 

“David Lee, look at me now.”

_ His english name. He’s really fucked now.  _

He averts his eyes to his mom’s, and his heart drops. She looked exhausted. Hurt. Seeing her only son,  _ her only child _ , in a hospital bed because of something so preventable. 

_ This was all his fault.  _

Before words could come out, a doctor, followed closely by a nurse walked into his room.

“Ah, so you’re awake. Right on time,” the doctor spoke. “I’m doctor Ong Seongwu, but you can just call me doctor Ong.”

Daehwi only blankly looked at him.

The doctor clears his throat before saying “well, we ran some tests on you, and other than a few minor injuries, you seem to be fin-”

“Jinyoung.”

Doctor Ong blinked “huh?”

“Jinyoung. What happened to Jinyoung?”

Seongwu’s face paled. “Um, patient Jinyoung….” the doctor paused, looking at Daehwi’s face, desperation clear on his face and sighed. “Daehwi, Jinyoung is in critical condition. We’re not sure he’ll survive.”

Daehwi could already feel the tears running down his cheeks, sobs shaking through his body, as his mother gently comforted him. This was all his fault. This was all his  _ fault. This was all his fault.  _

“We’re doing the best we can to save him Daehwi. But it’s all a matter of time.” 

Daehwi didn’t even bother to listen. All he knew was that Jinyoung,  _ his Jinyoung,  _ was on the road to death. 

And if he reached that road, Daehwi would be completely lost. 

-

_ He was running down a tunnel, a sliver of light shining at the end. If he could just make it, this could all stop. All the misery, all the broken hearts. They could all stop chasing him.  _

_ He ran as his breathing got heavier. He was losing time. He needed to get out of here. _

_ But it was too late, by the time he got to the light, he had already gotten trapped into eternal darkness. _

Daehwi shot up, sweat dripping from his hair. It was fake. It was all a nightmare. Yet it felt so real. Daehwi didn’t realize he was crying until he felt his hot tears hit his shirt, wetting it slightly. 

_ Jinyoung hyung. Please be okay. _

-

“Well, you’ll need to stay here for another few days so we can monitor your health, but from what everything says, you should be all better by the end of the week,” Dr.Ong spoke, words directed at Daehwi, but him making eye contact with his mother instead. 

“That’s good.” 

Daehwi wanted to ask about Jinyoung again, but he knew that Seongwu wouldn’t tell him anything else about it after he already asked once. 

**_Remember when you taught me fate_ **

**_Said it'd all be worth the wait_ **

**_Like that night in the back of the cab_ **

**_When your fingers walked in my hand_ **

_ He remembers when Jinyoung would take him on late night drives, hand in hand, squeezing gently as they drove up a glorious mountain.  _

Daehwi knew that Jinyoung was most likely not going to survive, considering what Dr.Ong said the last he asked. But he knew he would wait. 

_ Wait for him.  _

_ His Jinyo- _

“Daehwi.”

The call of his name snapped him out of his thoughts, as he met the eyes of Seongwu and his mother. Their eyes were glazed in concern as they looked at the small boy in the bed. 

“What?” 

“I said you may see Jinyoung once if you would like.”

_ Oh. _

His brain was yelling at him to not do it, for the sake of his heart not to be broken, but his heart was telling him to see his love. At this moment, the youngest didn’t know who to listen to. Would seeing Jinyoung one last time make things worse, or would it give him closure to move on? He really wasn’t sure. 

In the end, he knew the love he possessed for the older was strong. Was so fucking strong that no matter how his heart felt, it would always cry out his name. Jinyoung owned his heart like no other, and perhaps not being able to see him again would break Daehwi’s heart more than mend it. 

Daehwi knew what he had to do. 

“I would like to see Jinyoung.” 

-

**_Next day, nothin' on my phone_ **

**_But I can still smell you on my clothes_ **

**_Always hoping things would change_ **

**_But we went right back to your games_ **

Sometimes, Daehwi wonders if he made the right decision because what he was seeing right now absolutely horrified him.  _ Chords. There were so many chords all over the room.  _ The fact that his one and only was in  _ this  _ predicament scared him even more than all the machines around him. 

He asked himself  _ why?  _ Why did Jinyoung deserve to be here, in critical condition, body absolutely battered up for something that was all his own fault? He could have just left the original spot where they met instead of getting into the car and asking to get dropped off at his home. 

Just a few hours ago, the older was smiling and embracing with love and comfort. Now, he was close to his death bed. It was like a hit to the head, looking at his lover lying motionless on the white hospital bed, barely breathing. 

Daehwi couldn’t help the tears that were already starting to decorate his cheeks, as he felt his body wanted to get up and run to his lover. He wanted to do nothing but embrace him in his arms and let the tears flow freely. But he knew he couldn’t do that; there were other people around him, including his mother, which prevented him from doing so. 

_ “Jinyoung-”  _ was the only thing that slipped out of Daehwi’s mouth, bringing his hand up to cover it. He bit his lip, trying to stop the sobs that were threatening to make themselves heard. But it was hopeless. His emotions betrayed him as the sobs wracked his body, averting his gaze away from Jinyoung. He couldn’t look at him. 

Be blamed himself, obviously, and it hurt him to know this was all “his fault.”

Suddenly, he felt warm hands on his face. He opened his eyes which he didn’t realize were closed, and he saw his mom standing in front of him, tears also in her eyes; he could read the emotion.  _ I’m so sorry.  _ That only causes Daehwi to cry harder, wrapping his arms around his mom. 

“It’s all my fault mom. I-”

“Don’t say that, you know it was never your fault. I’m sure Jinyoung would say the exact thing.”

“No! This is all my fault! If.. if I didn’t ask him to drop me off at home, this wouldn’t have happened! I can’t lose him. I- I can’t lose him like I did-”

Daehwi’s voice softened before he could even say it.  _ His father _ . He passed away when Daehwi was a child, and it absolutely shattered his heart when he knew that he had lost him forever. 

“Lee Daehwi, listen to me. You are not at fault! It’s the idiot that hit your car, not yours. I can’t predict the future, and say that Jinyoung is going to be okay, but I know for a fact you had nothing to do with it. So please, stop blaming yourself.” 

Daehwi simply stares at his mom, then glances back at the unmoving boy on the stark white bed, air ventilator hooked across his face.  _ Life support. That’s what he was on.  _ Daehwi’s lips tremble as he looks at the older’s beaten up face. 

“May I have a moment alone with him?”

‘Daehwi, I don’t think that’s a good-” 

“P-please. Just for a few minutes?” 

Seongwu notes the broken tone of Daehwi’s voice. It sounded vulnerable, and he didn’t have the heart to break the kid into a further spiral than what he already was running in. He lets out a sigh, before nodding, and gesturing at Daehwi’s mom to follow him out of the room. 

Daehwi watches them leave, then turns around to see his lover. He looked so lifeless, and the younger couldn’t control the tears rushing down his face. 

**_Long nights, daydreams_ **

**_Sugar and smoke rings, I've been a fool_ **

**_But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

He tried so hard to push the tear back, although they fell quickly off his face, remembering the kisses he and Jinyoung and him shared, the signature taste and smell of his lover. Looking at him now felt like Jinyoung’s spirit was standing next to him, yet his side still felt cold. 

**_Headlights, on me_ **

**_Racing to 60, I've been a fool_ **

**_But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like_ **

He remembers how he and the older would dash through the empty roads on the outskirts of Seoul, cars only passing them once in a while. The headlights from said cars would beam across both boys' faces, making their eyes glisten and their skin glow. 

**_Blue eyes, black jeans_ **

**_Lighters and candy, I've been a fool_ **

**_But strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

How the older would be wearing skinny black jeans everyday, lighting his cigarette while overlooking Seoul, yet still tasting sweet. Daehwi would never understand it. How could two tastes and scents be so different but go so well together. Maybe his senses were playing games with him, but something about that taste was so addictive. 

**_And even if I run away_ **

**_Give my heart a holiday_ **

**_Still strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

He sees Jinyoung’s hand laying limp, resting on the side of him. Daehwi reaches for it, holding it gently. Whilst his tears were dripping down his cheeks, he speaks

“Jinyoungie hyung. I miss you so much. I don’t think I’ll ever get to see you again, but please know that even as I leave this room, I will never stop loving you. I will never forget your taste of strawberries and cigarettes that you hold. Your loving gaze. Your teases. I’ll never forget you. So if the next time I see you is up in heaven, I hope you still love me the same way I did throughout my lifetime.” 

**_I can't shake my hunger for_ **

**_Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

**_Yeah, they always taste like you_ **

He manages to say all of that through his tears. He feels the grip on Jinyoung’s hand get just a little bit tighter, as he leans down to press a feather light kiss to the older’s lips. “ _ I love you”  _ is all he says, before he turns to see a nurse and his mom standing at the door, ready to guide him back to his room. 

_ I’ll never stop loving you. Even past the day I die.  _

-

Here he was again, sitting in his hospital bed, trying to down at least a spoonful of the soup his mom made for him. 

“I-I can’t do it.” 

“Daehwi-ah please, just a little bit. You need food. You haven’t eaten in two days!” his mom quietly begs, voice gentle, as she knew how frail her son was right now. Daehwi reluctantly opens his mouth, taking a bite of the soup, forcing the liquid down his throat. He felt weak; he couldn’t eat without force, breathe in peace without breaking down into tears. 

His mom luckily has been with him the entire time. Partly cause she knew her son needed someone to be there for him, and partly so he wouldn’t do something stupid. Daehwi was in pain, and she was trying her best to ease it the best she could. But his mom knew that only one person could truly do that. 

_ Jinyoung. _

Daehwi can still hear the boy’s laughter, ringing in his ears actually. Knowing the state that Jinyoung was in, it was almost haunting to him. He didn’t realize the tears falling down his face once again that week. If you asked Daehwi, even he didn’t know how he was still banked with tears. He had cried so much these few days it was hard to count. 

His mom simply gazes at her son’s broken state, before placing the spoon down, and standing up and opening the door to Daehwi’s room. The younger looks at her in confusion, then drifts his eyes to the door. It was his friends. His beloved friends that he at lowkey forgot had existed in the past few days. 

“Oh Daehwi,” he heard one of them breathe out, before getting engulfed in a loving hug from said person. It, however, started the cycle all over again. Any form of love and fondness made Daehwi feel like he was going to break; dig himself even deeper into the ground of emotion. He immediately starts crying, not able to hold it back. He wasn’t sure how he still had tears left to cry, but they were obviously coming from a place of pain and turmoil. 

“I-It’s all my fault hyungs! He’s gone!” he sobs, grasping into Jisung’s arms. He suddenly felt warm hands on his face and another in his hair, stroking it, whilst still in Jisung’s arms. He looks up through his glassy eyes to see Jihoon cupping his face, and Woojin stroking his hair gently, knowing how fragile the boy was. 

“Daehwi, how on earth is it your fault?” Jihoon asked, eyeing the boy carefully. 

“I-I asked him to drop me off at home, a-and the crash happened there. I-If I hadn’t-” 

“Daehwi, that isn’t your fault okay? Jinyoungie wouldn’t want to hear you say that either. Never blame yourself okay?” Jisung said softly to him, the other two agreeing silently. 

“M-my mom said the same…”

“And when has your mom ever been wrong in something like this?” Jihoon said, before smiling softly, and placing a kiss on the top of the youngest’s head.

**_Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

**_Yeah, they always taste like you_ **

**_You_ **

**_Long nights, daydreams_ **

**_With that sugar and smoke rings_ **

**_Always taste like you_ **

“Jinyoung will be okay. Or the least we can do is hope.” Woojin says, reciprocating Jihoon’s antic, kissing him on the head as well. 

Daehwi simply nods, not trusting himself to speak. He was glad his friends were there with him, because at least it might help mend his heart a little bit. His heart was starting to trust everyone's words.

_ Maybe he still had hope.  _

-

**_Headlights, on me (and even if I run away)_ **

**_Racing to 60, I've been a fool (and give my heart a holiday)_ **

**_Still, strawberries and cigarettes always taste like_ **

It was the dusk of night, and everything was winding down in the hospital. Tonight was Daehwi’s last night in care of the doctors, specifically Dr.Ong. Most patients were sleeping, but for some reason, Daehwi couldn’t sleep. His mom had headed home for the night, sure that the doctors would take care of her son well. 

Something was keeping him awake, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. He felt a little bit at ease, being able to see his friends finally. However it was not that. 

It was this weird feeling that Jinyoung was actually okay. 

He knew it sounded ridiculous, but he really couldn’t help it. The feeling was quite annoying frankly, and he so desperately wanted to sleep, but he simply couldn’t. He turned to check the time, saying it was  _ 12:10am.  _ So it’s been exactly ten minutes since the feeling started getting heightened.

Regardless, he just pushed himself to sleep, closing his eyes, and hugging the otter plushie his mom brought him from home. He ends up falling into a deep sleep, dreaming sweetly of Jinyoung. Though nobody was there to see it, he had the sweetest smile on his face while his dreams were invaded by his lover.

He slept well that night. 

**_Blue eyes, black jeans (you always leave me wanting more)_ **

**_Lighters and candy, I've been a fool (I can't shake my hunger for)_ **

**_Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you_ **

On the other side of the hospital, however, the energy wasn’t calm. Doctors were running around with an emotion and fright that they couldn’t exactly pinpoint. They were joyous, yet confused how any of this was possible. Dr.Ong was currently running back to his room. He checked his wrist watch to see the time, seeing it was currently  _ 12:10am.  _

It had been ten minutes. 

_ Ten minutes since his eyes popped open at the strike of twelve.  _

**Author's Note:**

> UNBETAED!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot! It actually took me over 3 months to write, due to writer's block, so I apologize for that. However, I'm very proud of this story, so I hope that you guys liked it!
> 
> writing account: @starrsonyou


End file.
